last night's thunder rolling down my marrow. remembering her body electric blue. soft flashes. drawing maps. i'm so consumed. and not even by dreaming, as so often i have. but purely by what is. i've not been writing as often as i used to. which i cannot correctly ascertain as to why. perhaps my present doesn't necessitate the embellishing my past has. i am at a peak. and it is she who is my holy mountain.

so much has happened. i finished my junior year. my girlfriend met my parents. i won second place in a film festival (which was juried by the film curator at the mfah). i'm in the process of applying to universities so that i may transfer. got a potential job offer at one of my favorite thrift stores for the summer. and that is simply to mention the most recent. i haven't even written. i'm so ashamed. because i know my memory evaporates just as easily as these leftover puddles scattered along our southern streets in may. i understand more clearly when i write. even if it's an incoherent flow of mind mush. i must begin again. before too much is left unknown, like a beautiful dream.