honey lemon green tea

(and swaying consciousness)

i can't concentrate for the life of me. which is not such a good thing at this moment considering i have three essays to write (i have yet the chance to even begin one) and three art projects to complete. so i made this hot glass of green tea and added some honey and lemon to calm and perhaps help me to focus. this is not going to be a fun night. and tomorrow will be a wretched day.

i was going to post a separate blog about this, though since i'm here, last night was:
tegan and sara. holly miranda. full moon. (not necessarily in that order)
that's probably all i need to say...
my heart is still beating obscurely from being in their presence. right up next to the stage. feeling everything resonate within me. i will never forget that night. and the moon...i hope you saw that moon...

i have many ideas that i desperately need to initiate.
but doing so is inconceivable currently--and most likely will be for a long while.

i feel so fragmented.

kitty loves leonard cohen

okay. pleaseee ignore my voice. ...completely.
but my kitty, zora, is so adorable. she loves it when i play "marianne"' by leonard cohen
and whenever i play the song she runs up to me, purrs, rubs, and meows like crazy.
though, this was unexpected...

my hands are too shaky and weak
to carve this slab of linoleum, or paint these tiny ropes.

i believe in connection at first sight.
those moments so deep that everything goes silent.
and the silence is so loud and so still and so..right, that the most beautiful words no longer matter.

the kind where you can sit for hours and utter not a single word,
but leave feeling as if you had just recited the most magnificent conversation in the history of human existence.

on your way home your vision becomes tunneled and the previous moments consume you continuously.
lights of cars zooming by become vibrant long streams providing coinciding imagery to your repetitive thoughts.
and you pick out a single frozen mental frame to keep within you of the new visage that has altered your consciousness.

days, weeks, months, perhaps years, or even decades, pass,
and you may never be in each others presence again,
but that feeling, that moment, that connection...never subdues, never leaves.

it's in those instances when you feel that there must be something beyond here.
or at least something behind here. another realm, another life.

when the two of you were once lovers.

films

my movie list is unattainable.
or so it seems.
i'm going to have to undergo some rigorous searching.

though, since my time is currently nonexistent.
i'll probably have to wait until the summer anyway before i even get to watch another movie.

and again...

current obbsession...

"art is never finished, only abandoned."
--+--leonardo da vinci --+--

epitome of how i feel.

(inspiration--part deux)

oh, siouxsie, darling

oh, vivienne, darling.

inspiration for my next project, thank you lady divine.

"i feel an indescribable ecstasy and delirium in melting, as it were, into the system of beings, in identifying myself with the whole of nature."--jean-jacques rousseau

with this sweet girl around, there is no way i'll get any work done.
i need to finish that painting by thursday. and my lamp just broke.
the sun has dimmed, but i'll see what i can do..

so much other work to do as well, it's inconceivable, to me even, how i ever manage to finsh it all.

time to get movin'...

hues of royal purple

tuesday eve, the sky gave birth to the sun
>>>>>>and children’s eyes twinkled like sugar cubes that trickled

>>> tears of honey
sticking to the ground
they left an icing
>>> of sweet golden

i n –a—s e n s e
>watering the new born chamomiles and wilting chrysanthemums
that would soon be churned and muddled with cream into

hot breakfast teas
served to queens
garbed in


>>>>>>>>>hues of


>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>r o y a l> p u r p l e