this song. forever.

"put a spell on you
Because you're mine

Stop the things you do
Whoahuh - what's up?
I ain't lyin'
Yeaaah, i can't stand - hoo!
No runnin' around
I can't stand
No put me down
I put a spell on you
Because you're mine
Whoahaa - yeah!
Woah!

Stop the things you do
Whoahuh - what's up?
I ain't lyin'
Aahh!! aah! i love you
I love you
I love you anyhow
I don't care if you don't want me
I'm yours right now
I put a spell on you
Because you're mine, mine
Mine!!! aah whoahh huh "

i'm hopelessly delusional.
incessant thoughts.
of you.
foolish, foolish girl.


yet another new photo up (flickr)

ideas are brewing in this mind stew.
though, i've not the time to commence or further the thought process on any of them.
which has got to be one of the most infuriating things in existence. for me at least.



new photos up, to view click here.

a good day for scraping knees.

jobs i can do in order to make needed money:
1. sell my body
2. drug dealer
3. hit-woman
4. bank robber
5. pick-pocket

reasonable jobs i can do to make needed money:

mind-blowing night.





took my mother as an early birthday present and met up with anne.
it was absolutely incredible.
sorry my vocabulary capabilities are severely hindered in my current state.
just know that it was near beyond comprehension.

goodnight,
xoxo.

(oh, and apologies for the poor quality--taken with my phone since i was all too consumed with cocorosie to take decent ones with my camera)

i've got it all wrong.

i wish my name was spelt xoë, as opposed to zoë.

c'est tout.
i would write more, but i've got four essays to write and two or more projects in every class.
actually, three essays because i just finished one.
hurrah :|

ne pensez pas à moi.

gazed up to the full moon. immediately commenced a sob-fest.
silent weeps--but the sea may as well've been seeping from my heavy eyes.
for hours. i'm still fucking weeping (and working on my cursing skills, all the while).
a huge portion of my being feels dreadful, because i know i couldn't ever love anyone as much as i do my lady moon. but there's this other ration of my soul that only fills on nights such as these.
i don't intend for anyone to hold this personally--it's just a matter of truth.
inevitable truth.
perhaps to aid in understanding:
this notion is just the same as some who will always love their mother more than any entity in this universe.
that's not to say they won't love anyone else. that's not to say they won't love deeply.
but just that the deepest vein will always run with the connection to their mother.
and my deepest vein will boundlessly be enlaced by the moon.

coinciding note: my sixth photo is up for my full moon/"i miss it all" project.

p.s. merry autumnal equinox! xo.

"it's hard to hold the hand of anyone
who is reaching for the sky just to surrender"

pensez à moi.



bonne nuit.

halloween costume idea and plan? check.

uploaded some film photos from my project on juxtaposition.
view here: my flickr.

we knitted sweaters using veins for yarn
vehemently we strung our body’s strands
in moonlight until the sun shattered us with its vengeful dawn
feathered pillows soaked, crimson red
vacant hearts drained of blood and dread
cast-off to the tempo of our vanishing pulse of taps
......................one.
................twothree.
....four.
...................................four.
..five.
sixseven.

............eightnine.
nine.
ten. ...................tenten.
.............ten.
ten.

..ten.


.............la fin.

..and this is why i do not write in my journal.
with these ceaseless thoughts, i might as well write a novel.
goodness.

(still writing)

bloody hell.
i desperately need to rummage up the energy to jot things down in my journal.


mind typhoon.

so. obsessed. with. mina. loy.
her words thrash so deep into my soul.
i can hardly stand it.

yet another day of horror.
absolute horror.

(will spare you the explanation)

i know not what i've done--but the universe is writhing with some sort of vengeance against me.
i honestly do VERY little to have any sort of bad karma, and am likely one of the nicest and most patient beings you will ever meet...but it seems to no avail, i've got some sort of bad energy encompassing me.
i'll make a list of the bad things that have happened to me just within this past week:
1. i bought an 8GB flash drive because while in class my 4GB drive would not hold anymore items.
2. the next day it was no where to be found. the last place i saw it was in a purse within a purse..so i have no earthly idea as to how it could've fallen out.
3. directly after buying the drive i put ALL of my school projects on it--and they were not saved to any computer..just the drive. thus, loosing all of my projects (which were nearly complete, i might add).
4. i accidentally sent that awful text to my boss (basically, don't know what else i would call her). see one of the below posts if you were wondering what the text entailed.
5. i had to buy yet another 8GB flash drive and restart all of my projects.
6. my roll of film for photography class vanished.
7. i thought i found it, so i drove ALL the way up to the lab after working all day and went through the ENTIRE developing process. when i took it out of the developing tank...absolutely nothing was on the negatives.
8. now i have to go re-shoot everything again and i don't have any time to do so. have no idea how i'll manage this. because i still have to process/print EVERYTHING..again.
9. ALL of my freaking projects are due on the exact same day.
10. which is soon. very, very soon.
11. i got punched a painful three times today at work by a mentally challenged adolescent. i was nice the entire time. but it hurt dreadfully. all her father said was "Kelly!" then turns to me and says "sorry." and i said "it's okay" and proceeded to laugh uneasily. not knowing what to do in such a situation. she kept calling me her mommy and sobbing then charging at me..often accompanied by a punch.

this list is seemingly never-ending, though i can't continue because you don't care and i am now going to have to pull an all nighter in attempts to get everything done.
want to kill myself.


what did i do, cosmos?
i worship you.
and this is what i get in return?
that's not very kind.

my horrid attempt at covering allen ginsberg's "father death blues"

i need to rummage up my journal.
i've got stories to fill up the left-over pages.

wish i were not so deplete and sheeted in exhaustion..

HOLY FUCK!
joanna fucking newsom is fucking coming to fucking houston!!!!!!!
that is something i'll effortlessly curse for.
in fact, the words have never left my mouth with such ease.

i'm seriously near hyperventilation.
wwwwwwwhatt?!?!!!
oh my, oh my, oh my.
i can't believe it.
i was planning trips to fly out to see her somewhere because i apparently never saw the entire tour list.
words cannot describe the euphoria streaming through my veins.

p.s. speaking of the cussing: if you read my earlier post, everything turned out fine. she texted me back that night in laughter and consolation. thankfully.

and that...that is why i do not cuss.

worst possible thing that could happen, absolutely did.
and i didn't even say it aloud. it was a text.
i want to die.



for those of you wondering, i lost my flash drive...which currently has all of my projects on it--one of which is due tomorrow. so, i texted my dad, concluding this the prime opportunity to employ the f-bomb. right? yes.
...no. no, no, no, no.
well, you see, the text was accidentally sent to the lady which runs the photo labs at my school (where i monitor from 5:30pm-11:30pm).

lovely, isn't it?
the one time i cuss...
just lovely.

serendipitous day, spent with my father and my cameras.
uploaded a couple new photos to my flickr.

now i've got a pile of homework to tackle, a shower to take, and an alarm clock to set.

tomorrow will be lengthy. not looking forward to it. at least it's supposed to rain.

sorry the image is so pixelated...but LEONARD FREAKING COHEN FOLLOWED ME ON TWITTER!!!

however, i'm not sure if it's actually him.

i mean..i think it is..he has 3,257 followers and is following 1,271 (*ehem* one of which is meee!)

just wish i knew for certain.

my heart is undergoing innumerable palpitations.

nights such as these.
i've got a mind heavier than a fleet of ships.

side note: if the growth rate of my hair were to be transposed into a classical score
its tempo would be largo, at best.

oh, impatience.

i got the internship with gulf coast! (a journal of literature and fine arts)
i'm eager to commence this journey.
the year is going to be hectic, but also resume worthy--if i come out alive, that is.


my mind is flooded.

sick of everything.

cannot express the depths of my vexation.


i'll be having john lee hooker for dinner--
should fill me up and sooth my soul.

fun fact: my grandmother was friends with him (john lee hooker, that is) and paid her a visit once or twice. my mother even has postcards from him.
freaking jealous.