i'm miserably uneasy.
these realizations are eating right through my heart with a pretty silver spoon.

(and i'll have you know, it's a bottomless pit.
but honey, you're eating up every little bit.)


goodnight,
xoxo.

"sometimes i can almost feel the power
sometimes i am so in love with you
like a little clock that trembles on the edge of the hour
only ever calling out 'cuckoo, cuckoo'"

a short compilation of things that have no exact explanation, though my mind is unremittingly devoured by (which was in a particular list order, but is now not):

1. the cosmos.
2. death (the state of being dead and human relationship with death— not the cause of death..unless it’s really bizarre)
3. love.
4. dreaming.
5. the feeling i get when i listen to the blues, leonard cohen, or joanna newsom (especially during a giant thunderstorm).
6. the affect the moon possesses within me.
7. how my lovely little cat has the ability to create such a fowl smelling disaster within her litter-box.
8. magritte.
9. deep connections.
10. the power of written letters.
11. the feeling of emptiness.

i’ll stop at eleven. because that’s the number i’m most drawn to (no, not because it’s my birthday number—though, that is a nice plus). i do things in eleven a lot. but subtly. especially in my art. i was never going to tell anybody that, but oh well. now you can look for it. not that anybody really reads this, though. it’s also a master number (numerology, if it interests you).


mmm, some rain just rolled in.

xoxo.

so beautifully unfathomable--
http://www.aip.de/groups/galaxies/sw/udf/swudfV1.0.html
http://wikisky.org/

“with me, the present is forever, and forever is always shifting, flowing, melting. this second is life. and when it is gone it is dead. but you can’t start over with each new second. you have to judge by what is dead. it’s like quicksand… hopeless from the start. a story, a picture, can renew sensation a little, but not enough, not enough. nothing is real except the present, and already, i feel the weight of centuries smothering me. some girl a hundred years ago once lived as i do. and she is dead. i am the present, but i know i, too, will pass. the high moment, the burning flash, come and are gone, continuous quicksand.” — sylvia plath

sonny boy williamson...how i adore you.
this is killer.

darling, you're deranged.

goddamnit. i think too much.

the disconnect--don't you feel it?

"le clinquant"

photograph of foil.
view here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/zoenoelle/4739651389/

slowly and unsurely.

no words could express just how much i adore this film.

we're all so foolish.


so, so foolish.

ralphy <3

writing letters.
missing winter.
waiting for the full moon.

velleity [vuh-LEE-i-tee] noun : a mere wish, unaccompanied by an effort to obtain it.

what i've been watching lately:

"the lucy show" (8 disc set)--

of which, this was my favorite episode:






"man of ashes"--




"in the mirror of maya deren"--

"allen ginsberg: an elegy"--

"coffee and cigarettes"--

new song up--"don't you be fooled"




lyrics:

like a weeping willow without leaves
like a harp with missing strings
you've left me with such a sad excuse
such a sad excuse for an empty heart

my mama said don't you be fooled
the moon will always be your jewel.
and daddy said you don't need to cry
you can always put your hand in mine.

your mind is your compass rose.
but everybody knows,
your heart ain't gonna follow
no, your heart ain't gonna repose.

like dreaming without sleep
like realizing it's 1:19
you know you've gotta let go
so you stare up into the cosmos

my mama said don't you be fooled
the moon will always be your jewel.
and daddy said you don't need to cry
you can always put your hand in mine.

the cicadas are singing--
happy solstice.

there's no way can i listen to this and sit still...no way.

zoë + joanna newsom=foreverz.

“ if the moon smiled, she would resemble you.
you leave the same impression of something beautiful, but annihilating.”--sylvia plath.

ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod.
you've gotta watch this...
SO great.



..told you.

mr. waits is fillin' me up.

dreamer's drool. puddles of it.
children chuckle, splashing with yellow boots and crocheted sweaters to protect their hearts and feet.
men marching much too fast to see it last.
women wade, and weep with the weighty clouds as they wallow past.

we are all covered in drips of dreamer's drool.
puddles of it.

all these silly little dreams
making me wish foolish things.

goodnight,
xoxo.

can't stop listening to cocorosie.

latent [LEYT-nt] adjective : present but not visible, apparent, or actualized; existing as potential.

my fingers must be as translucent as the shoreline at the sea--
somehow you always seem to slip right through me.

it's summer time..and the livin' ain't easy.

breakdown #13,502.

i have so much to blog about. i've not had interweb for a while..still don't. i'm currently at a cafe drinking a delectable cup of moroccan mint tea and taking full advantage of the free wifi.

i saw IMOGEN HEAP! one of the most adorable and lovely ladies to ever grace the cosmos. she drinks mint tea, too. she was sipping on a cup at the concert.
(http://www.flickr.com/zoenoelle)



these past few days i've also seen:
--uh huh her (LEISHA HAILEY! ohmyy.)
--THE FLAMING LIPS (best show of my entire life--blew my mindddd. too bad the camera died..)
--imogen heap!!! (second best show of my entire life)
and there's more but my battery is low.

i have videos that i will attempt to post in the relatively near future.

xoxo.

waking up makes me want to cry.

my daily tarot readings for the past three days or so have been markedly spot on—and coinciding greatly. they are basically my therapist. i know eventually everything will stop being so miserable. it will be okay, cliché, and the cards will guide me along the way. i mean, i don’t want to be exceedingly bubbly and all that jazz—i don’t particularly vibe the scene. my work is better when it involves a bit of misery. but i’d rather not feel this awful, either. oh, and just to show, here are the past four days readings (note these are daily “past, present, future” readings):
--the magician (upside-down), knight of swords, knight of wands.
--eight of pentacles (upside-down), the tower, page of swords.
--knight of cups, strength, king of cups.
--nine of wands, temperance, page of swords.
yeah. they’re tellin’ me something.


“no more to say & nothing to weep for”—allan g.
i just finished watching that documentary. and yes, i do recommend it.
it is currently in my mail-box with the flag up to be sent to the nearest netflix shipping facility. so if it interests you, they’ll have it again shortly.


my future cup of tea is brewing silently on the stove.
cat pushes and purs. slightly she sighs, like the kettle’s steam. stretching. slow. steady.
looming unfinished works scattered around my mind, and across the floor.
empty. empty. empty. trapped.

at least there will be a thunderstorm tomorrow..(supposedly, anyways)

cat power--"sea of love" cover.